i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
