what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
this boner is exhausting
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
