look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize