Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
