I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
