Is it normal to miss your booty call?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
