He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
