Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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