I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize