what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize