pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
