I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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