Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
