i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
