took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I don't think brook has ever known best
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
