If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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