I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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