I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Randomize
