White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
