Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
