id be glad to
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
