After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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