I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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