If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
