Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
