this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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