So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
