i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
