oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
handjob tips. give me some.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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