Please don't use social media to get back at me.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
