I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize