We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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