ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
