Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
