i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Randomize
