i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
