if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
