Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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