RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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