Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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