Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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