All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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