yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
