Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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