Small penises have feelings too.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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