I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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