I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
