the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize