So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
