It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We just shotgunned beers for America
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
