I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
