Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
