I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
no, he came in my armpit
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
