so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
