Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
