What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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