Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
