Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.

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(718): View more from New York

at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.

Fav 15 6689 1378
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(678): View more from Georgia

Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?

(1-678): View more from Georgia

630.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.

Fav 7 4075 984
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.

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(302): View more from Delaware

It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex

Fav 20 3736 1641
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(217): View more from Illinois

You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.

Fav 4 3728 1459
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(586): View more from Michigan

And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.

Fav 2 529 316
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(620): View more from Kansas

I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos

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