She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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