You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
either way he was missing a nipple.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
