you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
