so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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