I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
