He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I've blown a few things in my day
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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