Betty ford says i'm here all night
I feel great
I just peed on a car
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
