i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
someone owes me an orgasm
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
