Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
someone owes me an orgasm
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
