Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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