yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize