i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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