Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
