I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
