i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize