Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
