i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
