good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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